1. Find a book shelf. Can be your own or at a book store or a library.
2. Look at all the choices you have available.
3. Get overwhelmed and cry a little.
4. Ok, actually just have a long cry.
5. Tell yourself you can actually do this.
6. Look back at the shelf.
7. Admire the pretty spines for a while. Maybe caress one or two.
8. Pull a few books off the shelf and admire and/or judge the cover art.
9. Put back all the books whose artwork doesn’t appeal to you.
10. Find some more books on the shelves and look at the artwork.
11. Once you have accumulated a giant pile of books, start reading some back cover reviews for the books in front of you and any number of the authors previous works.
12. If you are felling really adventurous, read the inside cover excerpts and summaries.
13. At this point you are likely feeling overwhelmed once more so visit Goodreads on your phone and look up some of the titles of the books in your pile. Perhaps read a review or two.
14. See another book or nine on Goodreads that you really should read since you have been meaning to for ages and try and find them on the shelf. Add to growing pile.
15. Now that you have a hoard that would satisfy a dragon, it’s time to start narrowing down the pile, you do only have one pair of eyes to read one book at a time after all.
16. Sort the books into ones you need to read right now and those that can wait a little while.
17. Hum and haw over your two piles for a while before putting back the ones that can wait.
18. Read a few first lines of each of the 3 books you must read right at this moment.
19. Narrow done the list to maybe 11.
20. Cry again because there are just too many choices! Why is the world so mean?
21. Try sorting the books alphabetically.
22. Somehow narrow down the pile to 10 books.
23. Sort them by colour. You swear you have read too many blue and red books this year and not enough green ones. Cull the list accordingly.
24. Cry some more because maybe that blue book, #7 was really the one you should read next.
25. Pull yourself together. Perhaps give yourself a pep talk: it’s only the next book, there will be many more books and you’ll get to them all at some point. You hope.
26. Finally pick a book!!
27. Watch an entire season of your favourite TV show as a reward for finally picking your next read.
28. Two days later start reading that book.
29. Read a few pages
30. Tweet about it and update your Goodreads profile to show you are reading the book. You should take an Instagram photo for good measure!
31. Read some more of the book, perhaps a whole chapter.
32. Have a break for food and to ponder if maybe you should have actually picked that other book, you know the one with the great opening line and that cover you just can’t stop thinking about.
33. Stop yourself from finding that book right then and there and read some more pages or the one you picked. You have to give it a fair chance after all.
34. Read a few more pages.
35. Tweet about being in a book slump and how you just don’t seem to be in the mood for your current read.
36. Try and read some more.
37A. Decide that this book really isn’t the next one for you and either a) pick up that other book you have been thinking about or b) start over from step 1.
37B. Or perhaps you really do like what you are reading, in which case Congratulations! You have successfully completed the step-by-step guide to picking your next read! Be sure to bookmark for when you have completed this book and need to pick your next one!
omg, this was hilarious! what a fabulous step by step guide and quite true as well! 😀 well doen!
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Thank you! It’s one of those posts that randomly came to me (of course while I was writing a different one) and wrote itself in about 15 minutes! After that I couldn’t wait to share it with people that check out my tiny patch of the internet. I’m so glad you liked it and found it funny because that was exactly my intention.
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ah, best ideas always strike out of nowhere and get out on ‘paper’ fast! everyone should see this post! 😊
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Reblogged this on Cover to Cover and commented:
Reblogging this because: a) all true and b) hilarious! 😎
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Now this is just spot on :’) Hilarious!!
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Thanks! I’m glad you liked it!
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Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant! I think you’ve accurately captured every the very difficult process every bookworm goes through! I’m sharing this wis my husband so he’ll know I’m not the only crazy one!😊💁🏻
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Yes! Share it as the more people that know us readers are not alone the better! And perhaps he might join us in our struggles in the very near future.
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I definitely will! I’m not holding out much hope for my hubby though. He’s definitely not a book person.😕
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Such a shame!! But then again, you can’t really have 2 people having feels over books at the same time in one household else wise nothing would get done!
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So true!😊
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Thanks very much for the ‘follow’!
[This recipe looks much like what I used to call critical path analysis.)
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If critical path analysis is anything like determining rate-limiting steps then there are a lot of them in his recipe!
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Hahahahahahahaha!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is sooo me! And the library thing: happens to me too! I go in to return a book, check the New Releases, scan them with my phone into my Goodreads app, check the reviews, check them out anyway, and leave with four books! Drop off one, pick up four! It’s this reason that I now have 32 library books!! It’s horrible.
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However, you have 32 new books to read without paying for them! That’s awesome! Terrrible book dilemma, but awesome pocketbook.
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Yes, saves me a ton of money but it’s giving me mini panic attacks!! Help!! 🙀
😉😉😉
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Try alphabetical? If that doesn’t work go by colour
😉
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Good points!
I go by due dates but I am getting a little close to running out of time. So worst case scenario, I may have to return and then place a hold so I can start the clock over again, lol.
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That is the worst part of the library-needing to return them if you can’t renew them and wait all over again!
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Agreed! I don’t care about fines but I hate having overdue books!
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This is really funny but so true! The ever growing stack of library books in room that I end up keeping for months because I really want to read each one can attest to that lol!! Realistically I know I can’t read them all but I can’t bear to part with them until they come due and even then I just reorder them 😛
But as you say the worst is when you’ve spent hours deciding what to read and then you don’t even like it and have to start all over again!! Awesome post 😀
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Thank you! I find the worst is when there is a book you don’t have in your large stack that you actually want to read and thus you can’t read anything in your stack until you read that one book but for whatever reason that one book is not that the library,….
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Yes! Definitely! That happens when I’m reading a series and I need to read the next one before I switch over to anything else but of course its not available anywhere or even worse only coming out next year!
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